ABOUT THE AUTHOR

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and medically reviewed by experts.

Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, LMHC, CST, NICC is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, marriage, and Christian sex therapy. Learn more about the Christian counselors at MyCounselor.Online.

Let’s talk about lust (with honesty, Scripture, and real help)

If you’re a Christian battling lust—porn, fantasies, “just scrolling,” or unwanted sexual behavior—you’re not broken beyond repair, and you’re not alone. Jesus takes this seriously (“whoever looks at a woman lustfully…”—Matthew 5:28), not to shame you but to shepherd you into freedom. In Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC), lust isn’t “just a sin to stop,” it’s also a signal—a dashboard light from your nervous system saying something deeper needs care and connection. We heal best in relationship, with Scripture and science cooperating under Jesus’ leadership.

What does the Bible say about lust?

• Lust according to the Bible: Jesus locates lust in the heart (Matthew 5:27–28). Job modeled wise boundaries: “I made a covenant with my eyes” (Job 31:1).
• Sexual sin is serious, but not hopeless: Paul calls us to flee sexual immorality and to honor God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:12–20).
• Temptation ≠ failure: “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire… then desire… gives birth to sin” (James 1:14–15). Temptation is an alarm, not a verdict.

If you’ve been asking, “What does the Bible say about lust?” “How do I stop lusting as a Christian?” “How do I overcome sexual temptation as a Christian?”—Scripture gives clarity, and NICC adds a practical path for change.

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Why willpower alone doesn’t work (and what does)

From an NICC lens, many “christian lust” cycles are fueled by wounds, gaps, and immature habits—not just “bad choices.” When we try to white-knuckle behavior without healing what’s beneath it, it’s like mowing weeds and expecting them not to grow back. Transformation comes through healing experiences that tell your nervous system, “You’re safe. You’re loved. You can rest.”

That’s why folks often reach for Fake Joy—numbing behaviors like porn, compulsive scrolling, or overwork—to quiet anxiety or loneliness for a moment. They regulate just enough to survive but never heal the root. Lust often lives right here.

NICC helps you trade Fake Joy for True Happiness—a stable, embodied state of peace, joy, and satisfaction, anchored by hope (we’re not talking hype; we’re talking healed nervous systems).

The NICC roadmap for overcoming lust as a Christian

Short version: we don’t just “try harder.” We heal deeper—in Christ, with people, on purpose.

1. Regulate (calm the alarm).
   Lust spikes when the body is anxious, ashamed, or lonely. First, help your system return to safety (breath, grounding, connection with a safe person, prayer). Safety isn’t indulgence—it’s step one of healing.
2. Access (notice what’s really going on).
   Get curious about what the urge is managing: stress? rejection? boredom? Fear of being alone? Emotions are signals, not enemies.
3. Relational safety (don’t fight it alone).
   We were wounded in relationship; we heal in relationship. Confess to a trusted brother/sister, an Iron Sharpener, or your counselor; let someone sit with you until the wave passes. Co-regulation settles the nervous system.
4. Satisfactory resolution (let the feelings finish).
   Instead of numbing with lust, allow sadness, fear, or shame to complete their arc in a safe space (often with Jesus in prayer). This is how the brain updates old learnings.
5. Narrative coherence (make meaning).
   What changed? What did you need that you didn’t get back then—comfort, attunement, validation? Name the update and anchor it (a verse, gesture, or phrase you can recall).

This five-step Pain Processing Pathway creates room for mismatch—a new, life-giving experience that contradicts the old script (“When I reach out, I get rejected”). That “divine contradiction” is where lasting change begins.

Practical tools for fighting lust as a Christian (today)

1) Covenant your eyes + change your inputs.
Job’s covenant (Job 31:1) is still wisdom. Put speed bumps on your devices and routines: app limits, filtered browsers, and “no phone in bed.” Pair every limit with a life-giving replacement (call a friend, take a walk, worship, journal).

2) Pre-plan your “90-second pause.”
When tempted, pause for 90 seconds: slow breaths, feet on the floor, hand on heart, whisper, “Jesus, I’m here. Be with me.” Text a trusted friend: “Pray. I’m at a 7/10.” This interrupts the reflex and invites co-regulation.

3) Trace it to the story.
Ask: “Where have I felt this alone/ashamed before?” Then invite Jesus into that memory for comfort and truth. This is memory reconsolidation—your brain’s God-designed way of rewriting old pain with new love.

4) Build your Life Team (Iron Sharpeners + Sage Circle).
Freedom grows in community. Find peers who sharpen you and mentors who guide you (pastor, counselor, spiritual parents). Healing is always relational.

5) Replace Fake Joy with real, embodied joy.
Schedule joy: movement, sunlight, honest conversation, worship, creative play. Your body needs non-sexual pleasure to reduce craving intensity. (Play is sacred—and it heals.)

6) Practice “Go With Good.”
When you choose integrity, savor it. Replay the win with Jesus: “What changed? What did I feel? How do I carry this forward?” This SNAGs (sticks) the brain toward the good.

FAQ: Christianity and lust—quick answers

• “Is lust addiction a Christian problem or a brain problem?”
  Usually both/and. Unwanted sexual behavior can become habit-loop + coping for unprocessed pain. NICC treats the roots (wounds/gaps) and rewires habits with Jesus at the center.
• “What about lust in a Christian relationship or marriage?”
  Lust objectifies; love dignifies. Growing healthy emotional connection strengthens sexual integrity and delight inside marriage. (If past wounds or sexual trauma affect intimacy, counseling helps.) Read: sexual intimacy in “roommate” marriages • navigating sexual trauma in marriage 
• “Does God still want me?”
  Yes. Jesus meets us in our mess and writes a new story. NICC calls this mismatch—the love of God contradicting the lies of shame.

A simple 7-day plan to start overcoming lust (NICC-style)

Day 1 – Audit & Prepare
List top three trigger patterns (time/place/state). Add one barrier (filter, bedtime phone rule) and one replacement (call a friend, 10-min walk, worship set).
Helpful: NICC overview

Day 2 – Co-Regulation
Invite one trusted person to be on-call for “90-second pause” texts. Share your plan and ask for daily check-ins.

Day 3 – Feel-It-Thru
When the urge hits, pause and track the feeling in your body. Name it (lonely/angry/afraid). Pray it aloud with Jesus. Let the wave finish.

Day 4 – Story Work
Journal a memory that “fits” the feeling. Ask: “What did I need then?” Picture Jesus offering it now. Capture one anchor word or verse (e.g., Seen / Ps 34:18).

Day 5 – “Go With Good”
Replay one moment of integrity today. Savor it for 60–90 seconds; thank God.

Day 6 – Joy & Play
Schedule 30 minutes of non-sexual joy (hike, music, art, laughter). Text your Iron Sharpener a pic of the moment.

Day 7 – Re-Anchor & Plan
Share your week’s wins and stuck points with your counselor or mentor. Adjust triggers/barriers, keep the anchors that worked, and plan next week’s supports.
Consider: What to expect from sex therapy at MCO

When to get help (sooner is better)

If willpower isn’t cutting it, if secrecy is growing, or if your relationships are suffering, bring in a NICC-trained Christian counselor. NICC is a biblically grounded, clinically sophisticated model that integrates Scripture and neuroscience and reliably helps people heal at the root.

You’ll be met with compassion, not condemnation—and a clear plan that addresses sexual temptation, lustful thoughts, and unwanted sexual behavior at the levels of body, heart, story, and spirit.
Match with a counselor • Christian marriage counseling • Finding a Christian sex therapist

Conclusion

Friend, the Bible and lust aren’t just about “don’t.” They’re about freedom—freedom to love, to be loved, to live with integrity and joy. With Jesus, wise community, and a healing-first approach, overcoming lust as a Christian is not only possible—it’s predictable when we give the soul what it was designed to need. If you’re struggling with lust, let’s take the next step together. Start Christian counseling with NICC.

MyCounselor.Online is the leading provider of online Christian counseling. You can change your situation and THRIVE!