ABOUT THE AUTHOR

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and medically reviewed by experts.

Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, LMHC, CST, NICC is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, marriage, and Christian sex therapy. Learn more about the Christian counselors at MyCounselor.Online.

Let’s talk about anger (yes, Christians have it)

If you’ve ever prayed “Lord, help me not to be angry,” you’re in good company. Anger shows up in the Bible, in our bodies, and in the life of Jesus. The question isn’t “Should a Christian ever feel angry?” The real question is, “What’s the biblical way to deal with anger so it leads to goodness, not damage?” (hello, “biblical anger management” and “Christian way to deal with anger”).

From a Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC) perspective, emotions are not defects to be suppressed; they’re God-designed signals that help us understand what matters and how to respond. Jesus designed the brain to run on emotion—and anger has a purpose. It’s often the energy to confront wrong and protect what’s good (action tendency: confront/protect).

Good news: “angry Christian” is not an oxymoron. But unprocessed anger can become a problem. Our goal is the biblical way to deal with anger—with honesty, wisdom, and love.

We’ll walk you through a faith + neuroscience approach (what many readers look for when they search “anger and Christianity,” “Christian how to deal with anger,” or “Christian anger counseling”), offer practical steps you can try today, and share how Christian-based anger management through MyCounselor.Online can help when you need deeper support.

Check out-> Emotions: the most controversial and necessary tool (great primer on what anger is for).

And -> Our NICC approach (what we do & why it helps).

Did Jesus get angry?

Yes. Jesus displayed holy anger—think temple-clearing and heated words toward hypocrisy. Scripture never paints Him as emotionally numb; He wept, rejoiced, felt compassion, and burned with righteous anger. That matters for “angry Jesus Christ” searches: His anger always served love, not ego.

NICC affirms this: Jesus is deeply emotional, revealing the Father’s heart; emotions are “sacred signals,” not liabilities. So when you feel anger, don’t shame it—shepherd it.

MyCounselor.Online is the leading provider of online Christian counseling. You can change your situation and THRIVE!

Why do I get so mad (so fast)?

Two quick lenses help here:

1) Emotion is primary

Humans are emotion-first. Before logic kicks in, your nervous system makes a quick “good/bad” appraisal and mobilizes the body. That’s why anger can surge in seconds.

2) Dysregulation hijacks wisdom

When we’re overloaded or carrying old wounds, our higher brain goes offline and reflex takes over—cue snapping, stonewalling, or shutdown. Restoring regulation lets your “slow brain” and faith-informed values back into the driver’s seat.

If you want a short read on core emotions (including anger), this primer is helpful: Emotions: A Brief Introduction.

Anger’s God-given purpose (and how it gets twisted)

At its best, anger protects—it confronts harm, defends boundaries, and pursues justice (that “confront/protect” action tendency again). But if anger is fused with past hurts (trauma, neglect, chronic invalidation), the present gets filtered through the pain of the past. Then we overreact—or shut down—because our system is trying to keep us safe.

This is where dealing with anger biblically goes deeper than “try harder.” We need healing at the root, not just willpower at the surface.

The NICC path: from reactivity to righteous response

NICC blends biblical counseling and affect/neuro science in a distinctly Christian framework. Here are the key moves we help you make:

1) Feel-It-Thru (processing the “emotional wave”)

Emotions have a predictable arc—begin, peak, resolve—often within 15–120 seconds. When you allow anger to complete its wave in a regulated or co-regulated state, the system naturally settles and wisdom returns.

Try this now (90 seconds):

• Notice: Where do you feel anger in your body (chest heat, jaw tension)?
• Name: “Anger is here to protect something important.”
• Stay-with: Breathe slow, soften shoulders, and let the wave crest.
• Check: When the body sighs/softens, you’ve likely completed a cycle.

(If you’d like guided, Christ-centered help doing this, our team specializes in it: Christian Individual Therapy.)

2) Co-regulation (you don’t have to calm down alone)

We heal in relationship. An attuned other—counselor, mentor, trusted friend—helps your nervous system settle (what NICC calls BrainSync). Safe presence lowers stress, increases hope, and rewires relational templates over time.

Try this: call a wise friend and say, “Can you just be with me for two minutes while I breathe?” Their warm tone and steady pace are medicine. If you don’t have that person yet, a counselor can stand in the gap while you build your Iron Sharpeners circle.

(You can meet our therapists here: Gifted Therapists Who Love Jesus.)

3) Mismatch (how God rewrites angry reflexes)

Old emotional learnings (“No one protects me,” “I’m on my own”) can be updated when we re-encounter pain and receive a new, contradictory experience—being seen, comforted, protected. This memory reconsolidation process is central in NICC and produces change that’s deeper than coping.

Clinically and spiritually, that looks like this: you expect rejection, but receive empathy; expect judgment, but are met with grace—what we call a divine contradiction. Over time, your anger becomes proportionate and purposeful.

(For a bigger-picture overview of NICC as “biblical anger counseling” meets brain science, see: What is NICC?)

A biblical working model for anger (5 steps you can practice)

When you’re struggling with anger as a Christian, use this simple sequence. It integrates Scripture’s wisdom with NICC tools (think “biblical help for anger” you can actually do).

1. Pause your body (Proverbs 16:32).
   Soften your jaw, lower your shoulders, slow your breathing. This keeps you in your window of tolerance so the wave can pass (Feel-It-Thru).
2. Name what’s threatened.
   Anger protects something good—dignity, safety, truth. What value or boundary was crossed? (“My time was dismissed,” “That comment shamed my child.”)
3. Connect before you correct.
   If another person is involved, seek co-regulation first: calm voice, gentle eyes, slower pace. Then speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15). This is BrainSync in action.
4. Ask Jesus for a holy “mismatch.”
   In prayer (or with your counselor), revisit the moment with Jesus: “Lord, where were You? What do You say to me here?” Let His presence contradict the lie (“I’m alone,” “I have to explode to be safe”). That’s how God rewrites the reflex.
5. Act in alignment (James 1:19–20).
   After the wave, choose a response that protects and loves: set a boundary, repair a rupture, pursue justice without contempt. This is anger as Jesus would use it—strength in service of love.

Want a short guide that echoes these steps? Our counseling handout frames anger as something to welcome and follow (not fear) inside a safe process. See page notes on welcoming anger: What NICC feels like in session (PDF).

When anger points to deeper wounds

If your anger feels outsized, endless, or numb-then-explosive, you might be carrying unresolved trauma or depression under the surface. In NICC, we see anxiety, depression, and trauma as different expressions of a dysregulated nervous system burdened with unprocessed pain—and we follow a unified, redemptive arc to heal the root. Safety → Connection → Completion → Integration → Renewal.

That’s not a quick fix; it’s the steady work of Jesus meeting you where it hurts most, with the people and processes that help you become whole.

Scripture to help with anger (to pray, not weaponize)

• “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
• “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Eph. 4:26)
• “A soft answer turns away wrath.” (Prov. 15:1)
• “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20)

Pray these as regulation prayers: “God, help me slow my body. Help me hear before I speak. Give me holy anger that protects without contempt.”

For a short devotional-style piece on how Jesus handled emotions, including anger: Emotions: Jesus Models How to Handle, Face & Overcome.

Is it time to get help with anger?

If your honest answer is “I can’t do this alone,” that’s wisdom—not failure. In NICC, we’re trained to offer incarnational presence (attuned, Christ-centered care) and to walk with you through Feel-It-Thru, BrainSync, and Mismatch so the reflex truly changes—not just the behavior.

Take a next step:

• Explore Christian Individual Therapy.
• Meet therapists who love Jesus and the brain.
• Or start at our home page and get matched risk-free.

Conclusion

Anger isn’t your enemy; it’s a messenger. In the hands of Jesus—and alongside a safe, skilled guide—it becomes courage to confront wrong and compassion to protect what’s good. If you’re a Christian struggling with anger, you don’t have to choose between “stuff it down” or “let it rip.” There’s a biblical way to deal with anger that honors Scripture, your story, and your nervous system.

When you’re ready, we’re here to help you move from reactive anger to redemptive strength—the kind that looks and loves like Christ.

MyCounselor.Online is the leading provider of online Christian counseling. You can change your situation and THRIVE!

*If after your first session you decide it’s not for you we’ll give you a full refund, simple as that.