How does depression brought on by loneliness look? Here are some common issues I see when working with women:

• • Severe emotional distress: “I’m under so much pressure; I have this anxious feeling that makes my heart rate rise, muscles tense, stomach turn, and my breathing is more rapid”
  • Sleep disturbance:  “I can’t sleep in the night” “I keep waking up during the night”
  • Lack of concentration: “I have a hard time focusing at work and listening to others talk to me”
  • Physical ailments: “Where does this chronic migraine keep coming from? “My stomach feels like it is in a constant knot”
  • Fatigue: “I just can’t seem to keep my eyes open during the day” “All I want to do is sleep”
  • Loss or increase in appetite: “I can’t get myself to eat” “I keep eating; it wasn’t like this before”
  • Suicidal ideation : “I’ve been having thoughts or ideas about ending my life”

Here are some suggestions to celebrate and embrace singleness:

• • Create a gratitude journal
  • Develop a healthy lifestyle: Try to stay active such as joining your local gym or start walking daily and eliminate unhealthy eating habits by replacing with healthy balanced meals
  • Develop a bucket list: Create a list of life goals you hope to accomplish in your lifetime
  • Define or develop your passion: Compensate your weaknesses through your developing strengths and desires
  • Get involved with a ministry: Check with your community or church for volunteer and charity opportunities
  • Evaluate your finances and spending patterns: Get smart with your money
  • Strive to serve God: Meditate on his word and allow a quiet time to focus on him
  • Gather others around you: Step out of your comfort zone and invite someone to dinner or over a Bible study

You are not a failure. Rejoice in the moment and celebrate your freedom to serve God.  God does call some to remain single longer than a season, a life time.  Try viewing singleness as an opportunity. You don’t have obligations to anyone but yourself. You can focus on yourself and your relationship with God.

“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” – 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)

Additional symptoms of depression due to loneliness:

• Grieving the loss of expectations or fantasies: Having the tendency to attempt to get reality to match a fantasy or unrealistic expectation and then experiencing despair when unable to achieve them. This could be dreaming about the perfect house, maybe a beach house on the shores of the ocean. Or it could be dreaming of having a son that becomes a pro football player or a daughter who becomes homecoming queen
• Preoccupied with Materialism: Attempt to fill the voids with material goods
• Security in Familiarity: One might stay at home where it is a safe place and avoid new relationships and environments
• Unhealthy Attachments and Relational Dependency: Developing unhealthy boundaries and unsafe relationships in attempt to “fix” the loneliness
• Constant Busyness: Remaining busy to avoid depressive thoughts and feelings of loneliness
• Emotionally Reserved: Experiencing a fear and avoidance to be emotionally honest

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many women struggling with depression discover their way to feeling secure, confident, and full of life during our sessions together. You don’t have to be alone in this. Connecting with an experienced counselor can give you the direction and support you need to move beyond the depression to joyful living.